You don’t need to dream bigger, you don’t need to wake up at 5 am or take a cold shower every morning.
What you need is to master the ‘anti’. What do I mean by this?
Nowadays, everybody receives the same advice.
“Oh, just dream big bro”
“Shoot for the stars man”
“If you can dream it, you can do it”
Let’s be real, if that stuff worked, you would see successful people and lamborghinis around every corner.
So here’s the actual secret to get ahead of 99% of people:
You need to be become crystal clear about two things:
who you don’t want to become
what your life will end up looking like if you keep repeating the same patterns over and over again.
Why does this matter you might ask, and I understand the wonder. So let’s dive into basic human nature and you’ll understand exactly why this might be your missing piece to a better life.
You see, just about the only reason we humans do anything at all is to avoid discomfort.
Why do you think you become anxious a night before a big test?
It’s not because you want to pass the test, it’s because you want to avoid failing it.
Why do you think you wait until the last minute to finish your deadlines or assignments? It’s certainly not because you all of a sudden got excited to complete the work, it's because you wanted to avoid the uncomfortable consequences of missing the deadline.
This is why you need to master the anti,
because you’re simply more driven by the desire to avoid pain or discomfort than to pursue happiness or achieve your dreams.
So how do you do it? You create an anti vision. An antivision is the opposite of how you want your life to turn out. Think of it as a tragic future incident that only you can stop or a cry for help from your future self who never took action.
Here’s how I created my antivision:
Sit down with a notebook. Write down everything you do not want in this life. Be specific, and take your time. You can start with these questions:
Who do you not want to be? (this is a broad question so feel free to narrow it down if it helps)
What life would you hate to live?
What would you not want to look like?
What do you not want your day-to-day life to be like 10 years from now?
How would the 5 year older version of you feel if you kept on wasting your potential?
Now don’t get me wrong, creating a positive vision for your life is not a bad idea. But it sometimes feels like a tug of war between your fantasies and reality with you being the rope.
I just never really knew what my dream was, so I had a really hard time even writing a positive vision for my life. But one thing is clear:
People who have a hard time explaining what they want usually have no trouble articulating what they don’t want, because it’s simply much easier to know what you do not want from experience and observation than it is to know what you want from imagination.
So start with your anti-vision. And from that, it will suddenly be much more clear to you what your positive vision will be, because it’s just the opposite of those things.
The less you act like your anti-vision, the less of that person you will become, and then you will simultaneously, almost automatically, begin to act more like the person you want to become, in everything you do, and then gradually, imperceptibly, you will become that person.
I hope you enjoyed this read and this take on chasing your dreams, and I certainly hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.
Best of luck with your anti vision.
/ Niklas, owner of Project Meliora